Doing life and gaming at same time is hard

A 'quipful' person once said when you're born and come into life, you're automatically entered into a game of living, and by virtue of being alive and life itself being a big challenge, life already leads by one score against you. When you're born poor, life leads by two scores. When you're born poor and African life leads by three scores and you have to work extra hard to first square the score between you and life as everyone else's then start working on winning in life like everyone does. He was basing this off some ither quip about challenges of being born African amd poor.

I have found this to be quite relatable for me in my life, being an African adult make in my late 20's, from a less than well to do background, in a southern-African country in deep socio-politico-economical distressing turmoil that's least likely to resolve soon. And its difficult to leave.

Doing life and gaming is hard, particularly for me since I'm so prone to addiction. This might have worked when I was still in school. It's not working for me now as I'm working and about to marry and to start a family.

Good people, what Andrew and his team have brought us here, is great, and I'm thankful.

I have been hooked on this game for nearly two whole years -two years.

Stumbled upon this game when the lockdowns started. After near debilitating addictions before, I swore off games-particulalrly open world ones. But when the worldwide lockdowns were announced, I felt like I would be stuck with nothing to do and with my mental issues that doesn't end well, I was mostly living alone at that time.

Since then to now, most time of my day is spent checking the site and testing crafts and stuff like that.

I have invested a lot into this game and space exploration enthusiasm, having possibly hundreds if videos and pictures of rockets, spacecrafts, rovers etc, as well as lots of videos on tutorial from Scott Manley and Mike Aben KSP tutorials, to Matt Lowne's exploration videos as well as many many videos on SR2 related content as well, from @IntergratedSpaceSystems, @JastroOne1, @KellyNyanBinary, @FoxtrotTheSergal, @Gozinya to @AnubisSpace, @MclovinSpace, @iSpace, @Kitkat and everyone else.

The thing about this game us it's mostly a building game. It takes time to build something and perfect it, a lot of effort.

My plan was to make a lot of great quality crafts with interiors and upload them. But thw process is too slow and involving for me.

I can't successfully do life and game at the same time. It's turning out to be quite an addiction really.

For more than a better part of a year-plus, had been invested in building a base in planet studio. I wanted a base that looked realistic and on that I could easily lamd with a plane, with easy access to ocean. Finished better part of it only to realise it runs very slow on my devices, had to abandon it. Felt like a year wasted. That's a year plus, no making, using or testing crafts. Mostly building a base. That was a huge disappointment. (Ok, I'll say it, that really broke me😂) Chose this year to rather to retrofit the DSC rather. That worked out for me. But the retrofits are actually remnants of the year plus efforts.

Then started working on crafts, wanted to do a rover, a very simple one, due to work and home commitments, that took a month plus, still havent figured out the Vizzy for the thing. These things are hard when you're not a coder.

I think I realised that this wont work for me this morning as I had a day off from work after a week long stint living in at work (I'd sleep during the night though). Tomorrow I'm back at work. I realised my main priority of the day was to learn to land planes and retrofitting the stock Simple Airways plane.

I was having trouble with with correcting dimensions with certain sections of the craft then I thought of all the responsibilities that I have waiting for me. I couldn't go on.

Few days ago, read through @XionmassResearch forum post. I'm not too sure how the situation came about and do not want to comment into it since I'm not part of the discord servers but I realised how difficult it is to invest in a game when you're older. I guess that's why most of the community is mostly young people.

I swear to you, I don't know how Dr @Rizkyman does it, being a Doctor and designing great crafts with complex Vizzy at that. Truly, you're a marvel to me Doc, I salute you. Every older adult and particularly those with family able to master this game and everything, I salute you.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to ruin anyone's day by a such a long gloomy post.

I just meant this to be form of a reflective journaling of form. A way for me to share my thought and for me to read back and make sense of things.

I've decided to really scale back hard on the time I invest in the game, like really really scale back hard.

At first I wanted to quit the game entirely. But I love, I mean love space travel and exploration. I cant leave it. But sacrifices have to be made.

Instead of trying to make and post crafts, I'll be more lf a retrofit guy, and flying mostly what others build, but still I'm gonna work hard on scaling back time I invest in the game.

But I have my heart for this game and the @Jundroo team's effort in this. So I'll keep checking in from time to time. Hoping to see it make it to 1.0 and beyond.

Again @AndrewGarrison and team, thank you for this great game that allows us to explore even from low end devices.